Body paragraph revision of intro of profolio

  To start with the most obvious change in my writings--the logic of the content. Logic is very crucial to a piece of writing because it is like a wire that connects all the points together as if the points are scattered pearls. My blogs that were written in September are good if take a first look at it. But if you read for a few more times, there are some points that don't connect very well, so they don't make a perfect sense. For example, there was a blog that I post about a cup called Rango. In that blog, my sentences  are not well-organized. Even though the idea that I was trying express is very clear in this blog, yet  I wrote " I named it Rango(the bottle) because it's like a friend to me, since 70% of human body is made from water"(Jiang). Although this sentence makes my point, it still makes the readers feel that the connection is not strong enough. If I revise it now, I will write " I named it Rango because it's like a friend to me, who can reminds me of drinking water when I forget,  since 70% of human body is made from water." In this way, this sentence will make more sense, and the personification makes my description more vivid.  So, the logic of an essay or paper plays a significant role, a good logic will make the readers understand better of your point that you want to show. Therefore, I think I have made a lot of progress on logicalization owing to the fact that my sentences are more cohesive.