Christmas poem

Birds are singing,cold and freezing
Friends are waiting, to go ice skating
Lights are glowing, snow's falling
Clock's ringing, Santa's coming

winter break

Winter break

  Reunion is the most precious thing to me, because it is a chance for me to meet my family and friends. Family and friends are the ones that accompany me when I feel depressed.  I am in an excited mood, and I have planned what I will do during winter break.

  The most important thing to do is to go back to meet my friends from my former high school. I have stayed there for half a year, but I made many friends there. On the day I arrive in my hometown, which will be approximately 12 am, I will go to a party that will be held by my school on 4 pm. This will mean a lot to me because I missed the Christmas party last year because I was preparing for a test. However, I made a promise that I would come the next year, which is this year.

  People that I know of will go to that party with their beautiful dresses and suits. That party is kind of formal; all the students and teachers are required to go. Due to that I was in an international school, most of our teachers were from countries such as America, Britain, New Zealand, even a teacher came from Spain. I missed my teachers and friends deeply that I just want to see them right now. The party will be held in a hotel next to my former school, since the students will come back to school that night. One thing that I have been excited about is that I told my friends that I would not go to that party because I will be really tired after the flight, and yet I will surprise them.

  I saw some pictures of the Christmas party last year; it was great. There were some students performed on the stage with funny costumes: some of them were acted like secret Santa; some of them even acted witches. Although I didn’t really know how was witches connected to Christmas. Girls wore some makeup, boys wore ties, and everything seemed so nice. What’s more, the teachers that I saw every day have totally changed. They wore formal suits and bow ties; they were much handsome than they usually were.

 This is a picture of my grandparents and me when i was 3 years old.

  I am desperate to go back, and see what I have missed these three months. However, I have met some difficulties in getting the permission from my mum to go to that party. I told my mum that I wanted to go to the party nicely and calmly, and yet she didn’t want me to go at first since I would be tired after the flight. Plus, she thought I should be stay at home the first day I get back. I was begging her for half an hour. I remembered that she said she would let me go the next year, and she promised me. Besides, I am already sixteen, half an adult; I should be able to decide what I want. After she struggled for an hour, I finally got her permission. I was so excited and this party is going to be the first and the most important thing that I will do during the winter break. Although the break is not long enough, but it is enough for me to get to know that how important family and friends are to me.

Final revision 2

                                      They are not only a pair of headphones
   I have been using a pair of headphones for two years. I like them for a reason: first, they have good sound effects, but this is not the only reason I am obsessed with it. These headphones can make me see my wish; they make me see what I want to see. In other words, they make illusion.
  The headphones have white with red lines on it, they have a red wire as well, which makes them very fashionable.  Two soft earmuffs on both sides, which I like the most. They were a gift that my mom brought me on Christmas the year before last year. My mum went to America without taking me, which made me disappointed for a while. However, after she brought these headphones back, I felt delighted. This cool pair of headphones looked just like other headphones, but after the first time I put it on, everything has changed, and I knew it was a very unique pair of headphones.
  My inclination was to do two things at the same time,  I was reading a book called " Silence",  a love story of a girl who hadn't spoke since she was five. I always felt sorry for her because what happened to her was a tragedy. I put the headphone on. Suddenly, I saw pictures of the characters I had been always imagining: Cole and Oakley, the main characters in the book. They were sitting together and watching a movie in their house, Oakley didn't speak though.Cole and Oakley had been friends since their birth, and finally they had each other. However, Oakley moved to Australia, which wouldn’t allow her to stay with Cole. They were both depressed. And yet, I was looking right at them the moment I put the headphones on. Oakley's face turned into a red apple when Cole looked at her, then they kissed. They made a vow that they would never leave each other again.
  The second time I put it on I saw my favorite “superhero”: The Amazing Spiderman. Of course, my idol is the person who acts The Amazing Spider Man --Andrew Garfield. When I put my headphones on, I found myself standing in Times Square. The Spiderman was so charming from inside to outside. The Spiderman started to save people's lives in the Times Square because a man who could strike people with electricity was damaging the entire city. I was stared at him and forgot that the Times Square is in chaos. He saved me, and when he left, he winked. My stomach punched; it was so real. My superhero just saved me and winked, I couldn't believe what I saw. 
  The third time I put them on was when I felt upset about homework. I was so frustrated that day. Not only I had a lot of homework on that day, and I couldn’t finish it, but also I was in a bad mood. However, I put my headphones and then felt energetic. Suddenly I knew all the calculation in math, all the analysis in History, and the clue to write an essay in English. I was so excited, the headphones did do me a huge favor.
  These headphones have brought me amazing experiences and I even had emotions with it. I regarded as my friend, when I felt depressed, I put them on, and enjoy the comfort they bring to me. I could feel that they have the same feeling for me; it seems like they were designed for me. They couldn’t leave me because they felt so proud to make people happy.

thanksgiving break

 A trip to aquarium

  You think you really know the beauty of the sea? Probably that’s not true. Sea is not a scary world as we think; it actually makes me feel energetic and curious. The fish, mammals living in the sea are amazing.

  During Thanksgiving break, I went to an aquarium in Boston, which was gorgeous. We didn’t mean to go to that aquarium in the first place; we went there because we were bored and it was the last day staying in Boston. We bought the tickets, which were about 20 dollars per person. Then we started a surprising trip that was out of expected.

   The first animals, or birds, were penguins. It was not the first time I saw penguins, but it has really been a long time. The penguins acted like little babies with eyes like beans staring at the crowd. Some of them were shaking and trying to get the snow off, which looked pretty funny. There was a man feeding them food, and we were so jealous that he could do that to the small cute penguins. Then we walked on the second floor and saw some really weird fish swimming as a crowd. Even they looked weird, but I was shocked of how cooperative they were.  Keep walking on the corridor we saw sea dragons. I understand how they got their names because their long wings made them look like Chinese Dragons. At first, I called them seahorses since they look similar besides the wings. They were amazing “horses”, and I never seen this type of creature before.

Around these marine animals, there were other creatures such as echinus, starfish. And I got a chance to touch a starfish, although I felt gross at first, I tried my best not to push to hard so that I wouldn’t hurt it. I even recorded a video when I touched the skin of the starfish. However, I forgot to wash my hands after touching it.  On the third floor, I saw some numb fish wounded around the corals, which were scary. There were some snakes too, they kept making noise like “ szi, szi”. The aquarium has a giant fishbowl that was three floors tall. This fish bowl contains all the giant fish, and yet they looked numb; like they couldn’t see us. The tour guide explained the creatures in this fishbowl to us, which was like a biosphere for the marine animals in this aquarium.  The fun thing was that I saw a diver diving in the fish bowl; it seemed like she was cleaning the fish bowl. All the young children gather together and staring at the nice lady in the giant fish bowl with shocking and curious looks.

   The trip was so amazing that I could possibly find a word to describe how beautiful it is in the sea. I haven’t visited a zoo or an aquarium since I was ten, I suppose. It was a great trip, and it made me feel like I have got my childhood back. Our life always requires curiosity, and a heart like a child’s.

Summary

Mark Kurlansky basically talks about democracy, besides that, he also talks about Charles Darwin and his theory.Mitt Romney has the qualification to be the president of the United States of America. But the reason he failed the competition with Barack Obama is that people couldn't see the truth. He is very critic, and he talks about his own opinion with some evidence. Therefore, people would believe in him. Plus, he also talks about why he became a blogger while he was also a writer.

Final draft of revision

   I have a pair of headphones that I have been using for two years. I like them for a reason: first, they have good sound effects, but this is not the only reason that I love them. These headphones can make me see my wish; they make me see what I want to see. In other words, they make illusion.
  The headphones are white with red lines on it, they have a red wire as well, which makes them very fashionable.  Two soft earmuffs on both sides, which I like the most. The headphones were a gift that my mom brought me on Christmas the year before last year. My mum went to America without taking me, which made me disappointed for a while. However, after she brought these headphones back, I felt delighted. The headphones looked just like other headphones, but after the first time I put it on, everything has changed, and I knew it was a very unique pair of headphones.
  Doing two things at the same time is always my appetite. I was reading a book called " Silence", which was a love story of a girl who hadn't spoke since she was five. I always felt sorry for her because what happened to her was a tragedy. I put the headphone on. Suddenly, I saw pictures of the characters I had been always imagining: Cole and Oakley. Who were the main characters in the book. I saw they were together and watching a movie in their house, Oakley was the girl who didn't speak. Cole and Oakley had been friends since they were born, and finally they were with each other. However, Oakley moved to Australia, which wouldn’t allow her to be with Cole. They were both depressed. And yet, I was looking right at them the moment I put the headphones on. Oakley was shy, and Cole was looking at her, then they kissed. They made a vow that they would never leave each other again.
  The second time I put it on I saw my favorite “superhero”: The Amazing Spiderman. And of course, my idol is the person who acts The Amazing Spider Man --Andrew Garfield. When I put my headphones on, I was standing in Times Square. The Spiderman was so charming from inside to outside. The Spiderman was saving people's lives in the Times Square, including mine. He saved me, and when he left, he winked. My stomach punched; it was so real. He was my super hero and I couldn't believe what I saw.
  The third time I put them on was when I felt upset about homework. I was so frustrated that day. Not only I had a lot of homework on that day, and I couldn’t finish it, but also I was in a bad mood. However, I put my headphones and then felt energetic. Suddenly I knew all the calculation in math, all the analysis in History, and the clue to write an essay in English. I was so excited, the headphones did do me a huge favor.
  These headphones have brought me amazing experiences and I even had emotions with it. I regarded as my friend, when I felt depressed, I put them on, and then I could enjoy and relax. I could even feel that they have the same feeling for me; it seems like they were designed for me. They couldn’t leave me because they felt so proud to make people happy.

Three best writing revisions from my point of view

"The city of CA"
Sera Savas
I liked it because she describes it as a real city, which is very imaginative. The analogy is very proper, and did give me an image about how the campus is like. In addition, she also talks about people's occupation in this small city, which I think she not just shows the scenes, but also the real life.

Walk among dream and truth
Leo
This is a very attractive writing. First of all, it's because of its title, which makes me think a lot about what the story is going to be about. Plus, the content is interesting, and his description is very vivid.

A special canvas
Amanda
 It is very descriptive, and gives me a sense of art. I love this writing because of its organization, which can really make the reader see this masterpiece. Plus, the opening induces me to read more even though it's just a simple sentence .

revision of a bottle called Rango

A red bottle called Rango

   I have a water bottle that I use every day. It is about 9 inches tall, the radius of it is about 0.25 inches. The different thing about this water bottle is that I named it Rango because it’s like a friend to me. You may think it’s weird to name a bottle, but I named it for a reason. Owing to the fact that 70% of the human body is made up water, Rango becomes my best friend, and he always keeps me from dehydrating.

Rango was bought when I was visiting Harvard. When I was thinking about buying a souvenir from Harvard, I saw him. He has beautiful reddish color, and he is also translucent. Rango is a charming bottle because the design is not only beautiful but very useful. There is a huge white word Harvard on it, which is a logo. The logo follows the shape of the water bottle, and the word is clear and obvious. Below the logo, there is a word bpafree, which I guess is the factory that made it. The cap of the water bottle has a sense of design. There are two ways to open the water bottle: one is to rotate the cap; the other way is to push down the clip, and open the mouth. The clip I designed for convenience, which let me drink water easily. Plus, there is another figure on the cap, which is like a rotating flower. This is also the logo of the factory that made Rango. This little flower show the amiable side of Rango, which I think is quite cute.

  I never paid attention that the water bottle is not only red, but it has some white parts. The combination of red and white makes its design so simple but stereo. The white parts embellish the whole water bottle, makes it more novel. Furthermore, the thing that I just found out is that it has a graduated ruler on one side of it, it’s like a graduated cylinder. And the part of the cylinder is concave. Plus, there are two units: milliliter and oz.  Rango provides me with convenience when I want to measure how much water I drank a day. Rango did help me lot with my diet, and he helps to make me healthier.  I have never noticed that before at all, now I realize what is so-called “ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  The last part of this water bottle is its white rubbery plug inside the clip. The plug is very soft but elastic, so that it can plug the water from inside of the water bottle, so that the water will not get out of it.

  Rango is like a truly friend to me, and he keeps reminding me that I need to “hydrate” all the time. He takes care of me a lot, and now I need to pay back: clean him up and pour water into it. My new day starts.

revision of "They are not only headphones"

   I have a pair of headphones that I have been using for two years. I like them for a reason: first, they have good sound effects, but this is not the only reason that I love them. These headphones can make me see my wish; they make me see what I want to see. In other words, they make illusion.

  The headphones are white with red lines on it, it has a red wire as well, which makes it very fashionable.  Two soft earmuffs on both sides, which I like the most. The headphones were a gift that my mom brought me on Christmas the year before last year. My mum went to America without taking me, which made me disappointed for a while. However, after she brought these headphones back, I felt delighted. The headphones looked just like other headphones, but after the first time I put it on, everything has changed, and I knew it was a very unique pair of headphones.

  Doing two things aat the same time is always my appetite. I was reading a book called " Silence", which was a love story of a girl who hadn't spoke since she was five. I always felt sorry for her because what happened to her was a tragedy. I put the headphone on. Suddenly, I saw pictures of the characters I had been always imagining: Cole and Oakley. Who were the main characters in the book. I saw they were together and watching a movie in their house, Oakley was the girl who didn't speak. Cole and Oakley had been friends since they were born, and finally they were with each other. However, Oakley moved to Australia, which wouldn’t allow her to be with Cole. They were both depressed. And yet, I was looking right at them the moment I put the headphones on. Oakley was shy, and Cole was looking at her, then they kissed. They made a vow that they would never leave each other again.

  The second time I put it on I saw my favorite “superhero”: The Amazing Spiderman. And of course, my idol is the person who acts The Amazing Spiderman. When I put my headphones on, I was standing in Times Square. The Spiderman was so charming from inside to outside. The Spiderman was saving people's lives in the Times Square, including mine. He saved me, and when he left, he winked. My stomach punched; it was so real. He was my super hero and I couldn't believe what I saw.

  The third time I put them on was when I felt upset about homework. I had a lot of homework on that day, and I couldn’t finish it. However, I put my headphones and then felt energetic. Suddenly I knew all the calculation in math, all the analysis in History, and the clue to write an essay in English. I was so excited, the headphones did do me a huge favor.

  This headphone has brought me amazing experiences and I even had emotions with it. I regarded as my friend, when I felt depressed, I put it on, and then I could enjoy and relax. I could even feel that it has the same feeling for me; it seems like it was designed for me. It couldn’t leave me because it felt so proud to make people happy.

Strongest vs. weakest

Weak:
What makes New York interesting is its buildings.
They all have more knowledge.
The students must work hard and be successful, so that the future's world can be better.
when they want to ask something about the school life.
They control mostly everything about the school,and they come first as the people that are in charge of school.

Strongest
As we can see when we look around the campus, the buildings look old, since the city of CA has a huge history.
The teachers always want the best for students so that they won't get bad grades or get kicked out of the school.
They want to own the business and run it afterwards.
That's why they have to get out of the "worker zone" and step into the "boss" zone.
People who work in the academic office control students' academic situations and if they miss classes or get bad grades, they diced what to do, whether changing class of dropping class.