peer's writing

  The twist response

We wrote some twist stories last week, which were interesting and creative. There are three my favorite pieces of writing, which are Cherrie’s Amanda’s, and Sophia’s. Their writings attract me, and some of them even made me laugh for a while. I love this stories not only because the twist is fun, but also the emotions they carry within them make me feel dramatic.

To begin with, I want to talk about Cherrie’s story. Her beginning is very interesting, because she started with a greeting from her to her friend. This catches my eye and makes me want to know more about her story. In fact, she foreshadows in the first paragraph. According to her writing, “ The shadow there seems to be my friend.” She writes, “seems to be”, but we don’t know if that is her friend. She leaves us with a suspicion to let us guess what will happen in the latter story. She uses details to describe her friend’s reaction, and she uses many interrogative sentences to show her emotions. I love these sentences, they make the character very vivid. At last, the twist has a strong sense of comparison. And the last sentence is very concise.

I also like Amanda’s writing. She is very good at using the structure of the paragraphs to demonstrate the outline of the vertex. The beginning makes me feel mysterious, and keeps me want to read more. Her actions is very descriptive, such as “sweat in my palm”, these details make her writing vivid. In her story, she has some monologues, and murmuring; I love this part because I can know what she was thinking when she sas the “witch”, I can know better about her emotion. However, she uses the final sentence to gives the readers the truth of the “witch”. I asked her where the twist was the first time I finished reading her story. Thus, the last sentence pushes me to think more.

In the end, I want to talk about Sophia’s writing, in which the twist is quite interesting and out of expect. She builds a comparison of her father and her, in which she was frozen, and her father was warm like a polar bear.  Dialogues are widely used in this story; and these dialogues describe characters’ emotions as well. For example, “ Oh wait, it is not moving down but up!” This sentences describes how surprised and shocked she was. The strong emotion is oozed from this sentence. The strongest comparison is her father’s speech and the ending. According to the writing, “ his voice is full of love and care” and “He zips up the zipper from his chest to the neck.” The strong comparison makes the whole story very dramatic and funny.

            In short, these stories are all very interesting and the ending si always out of expect. After doing this writing, I realize that the emotions are a very important element in a writing because emotions fill in the emptiness of just a single story. I really enjoy making up a creative twist story.