In class writing

  For the second draft, I basically did some improvements for my thesis, and make it clearer to understand. The thesis was I agree with placing cameras in public area but not inside dorms, and students should have their own ability and responsibility to protect their property inside dorms. But then I changed into I agree with setting cameras in public area but no cameras inside dorms at all. And for the last paragraph, I first explained my third point about students' ability to protect themselves, then I improved it to explain again opposition of my thesis. After these corrections, my thesis became clearer and body paragraphs would be more organized compare to the original ones. Al last, I corrected grammar mistakes in this draft.